This post is the eighth post in a series entitled Keys To Unlocking Great Relationships. Read the previous entries in this series here.

I stumbled across this quote yesterday and thought it would be a perfect topic for today’s post:

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -Sam Keen

I just love the philosophy behind this quote. It acknowledges a few vital truths about healthy relationships:

1) We are all imperfect people. We all have areas of weakness that will cause us to hurt others.

2) Being in a relationship involves two imperfect people.

3) It is not the other person’s responsibility to become perfect (or even close to it) in order for you to have a healthy and whole relationship with them.

4) True love is all about perspective. I don’t think the author of this quote is saying we should ignore the flaws in others. In contrast, I hear this quote to be saying that we must learn to see others’ flaws in light of their context and stop expecting them to change. Healthy relationships are all about accepting what is, and changing my reactions instead of trying to change the other person. As I have said before, the only person I can control is me. I must take charge of my perceptions of others and order my thoughts and behaviors accordingly. If we seek to truly see and understand others we will learn how to respond to them in a way that is mutually beneficial to both of us. The problem comes when we just react in the moment, and don’t ever take the time to think about better ways to respond.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this quote in the comment section :)